The Ladies of OkCupid

3 ladies documenting their time (and yours) on OkCupid
charming.

charming.

There was a guy I started talking to on okcupid about three weeks ago.  We talked for two weeks and met up once.  It all went well until it turned out he’d made up some stuff about himself where the opposite was actually the case.  It wasn’t major stuff, but lying about it was weird, and I’d only just met him so I told him I didn’t want to hang out and I stopped texting him.  That was a week ago.  Since then he’s sent me a message or two a day ranging from “hi” to “we need to talk”.  Today he sent me a message over okcupid saying, and I quote:

"I’m not sure that I deserve to be shunned, but I understand your decision. I could really use a friend right now.  Please text back."

I haven’t written back, and I plan to keep ignoring him, but I want to say a) I’m not your friend, I’m a stranger from the internet you met once b) if you “understood my decision” you wouldn’t keep asking me to change my mind and c) if I’m not interested, acting like a creeper is not going to make you attractive.

My OkC story - and it ends with success!

Hello there, I hope this is the right place to just send a message… well first, I just spent the last two hours reading this tumblr instead of doing stuff…! Damn you Internet!

All I saw on here just spoke to me so much. I spent a couple of years, on and off, on OkC and I am impressed to realise now that there are other women who reply with sarcasm, who start a fight over grammar, who can’t stand the Hi Hw R U kind of messages, who are proud to be picky and to speak their mind against creepy attitudes and empty brains. A lot of the conversations I see on here reminded me a lot of the ones I had. The stereotype was that women just never reply. I did get the odd thankful messages for simply saying “thanks but no thanks”, as well as loads of “no one replies so I don’t waste my time saying more than ‘Hi’”.

I was also, so I was told, a very odd type of woman as I sent many more first messages than I received. My profile was a tad long, strong, outlining clearly what I didn’t like - not an easy catch, admittedly. My first messages always related to the guy’s profile. Guys who looked very cool or very good-looking never, ever replied. Those with less of an ego did.

To be fair, I had countless dates. On a lot of them, I wished I could just leave as soon as I saw the guy, but I always had a drink and a chat… Most of them were alright guys, but no more than that, to me. However, an infuriating amount of them had lied about their height - I am fairly tall and too many of them were shorter than me (sorry that doesn’t attract me…)!

I also had a couple of brief flings which started well and looking back I’m only too glad they ended. Then one day this cute photo pops up in my feed in the opening page. I was spending so much time on there that I immediately thought it might be someone new there, as I had never noticed him…! He said afterwards that the had been on there for no more than 2 hours when I messaged him… Ehm! I feared he would be the kind of guy who would never reply to me, but as you can see he did.

Yes, you guessed it, this is also a success story. We messaged on there for about a month as we had no chance to meet before for several reasons. He said he did go on one date with another girl in the meantime but he was still hoping to meet me…

Well, we’ve been together about a year and half now. So yes, sometimes it happens, but it didn’t happen overnight for me (and his very short time on there is clearly some crazy exception, lucky guy!) and it does just take a long time - and effort, in the sense of time invested messaging people with something worthwhile to say, and just hanging out. In many ways, just like in real life: some people hang out in bars, some online, some both. Some people are creepy, some are uninteresting, some are great. Sometimes it’s hard to have the best impression online, but lazy messages and poor grammar don’t get you anywhere!

Sorry about the long message, I just felt like sharing!

I think that’s a picture of your nephew

Him: how are you?

Me: okay I guess. Are you really 25?

Him: i look younger right? lol X-XX-1988 makes me 25 yes, almost 26 actually lol

Me: Actually you look quite a bit older.. whatever. Why are you against contraception?

Him: i just dont want to get some one prego yet..

Me: Yeah exactly so why would you be against contraception? The point of contraception is so pregnancy doesn’t occur.

Him: i am all for that then! sorry my bad…what do u mean by the blowjob statement? Lol

Me: Are you having some trouble understanding it? I thought it was pretty clear what I meant. Unless… 5” is the diameter of the telescope. Larger lens diameter = better images.

Him: I know only a few stars. can u maybe teach me some stars one day?

Me: Nah.

Him: ok. when is ur bday? what is ur fav color? season? sport? sorry for all the questions

Me: you’re changing your profile picture a lot. Was it what I said about the old one?

Him: Yes but I don’t know which picture to use that doesn’t make me look too old or top young lol

Him: how r u today? is this picture better?

http://bingonightatthestripclub.tumblr.com/post/56027437486/my-names-kristen-and-i-started-using-okcupid-with

Hello, would it be too much to ask for you to signal boost what is happening to me and many other okc users with unjust deletion and bannings of profiles? Also if you or your followers know of any other blogs that are solely for okc that could help me out I would be grateful. Thank you!

Weirdest message I’ve gotten thus far.

In the midst of poorly written grammar I received this gem. It read, “Hey, you are cute like a little bunny. Wanna play a game? And no, it’s not sexual before you think that’s what I’m insinuating you perv. 

It’s called ‘love it or hate it’. That way I get to know a bit more about you rather than asking boring questions. 
So basically, I say something random like “pizza” and then you say you either love it or hate it. ”

……At least I remind people of fluffy animals?

A happy okcupid story

Around 4 years ago, I joined up on okcupid, and the first message I sent wasto a woman who, tired of the creepers,changed her profile to an obscure song lyric. She had dealt with guys wanting her in a threesome, guys wanting her to be a prostitute, an invitation to join pornography (including a request from the costar), and guys who wanted free board and food in exchange for sex.

We’ve now been married for almost two years, have a hues and two puppies together, and are preparing for ur first child. And there isn’t a single day I’m not grateful she waded through the creepers lo enough for us to find each other.

I love reading these posts with abject horror, but I’m inspired to throw my positive experience with OKC in the mix.

I met my wife on OK Cupid. Our first date was July 2012, and by New Year’s Day 2013 we were seriously talking about marriage. We got officially engaged in March and married in November. At first I was flabbergasted by the speed at which everything was happening, but everything has been far above and beyond my wildest dreams, and I can’t imagine anything better than being married to her. 

It’s so long I have to make it a text post.

APRIL 8TH:

Hi! I look and marvel over the pictures and your profile. Especially the fact that you’re so desiring of sex and looking for casual sex. I get so excited and it makes me want you even more. I wish I were younger and closer to the age of a guy that you’d be interested in getting to know. I love your piercings. How many do you have? How many and what kinds of tattoos do you have? You have very beautiful eyes and Damn, I really do like your curves. Younger guys are out for only one thing. And they will tell you anything and everything you want to hear in order to get it. In a way I guess that’s what you’re looking for though. But then the younger guys too are only in it for their own gratification. Where as an older man as myself is more mature and is much better at treating a woman the way she should be treated. Older men have the experience and insight of knowing how and when to shower you with affection and attention and can pamper you like you’ve never been treated before and I enjoy and take great pleasure in doing it too. I could be a whole new era of sex for you. I could teach you some new and wonderful things and give you experiences that you never could imagine. I get more happiness and satisfaction out of giving than I do receiving. I would love to give you many many body massages and back rubs. I fantasize about running my tongue all over you and doing so many things to and with you it has me so turned on. That part of your profile and that you’re looking for casual sex does excite me and wish you you could want me to do to you all the kinky things that I can do with my tongue and that I have on my mind right now. Are you ready to be showered with affection and attention and pampered like you’ve never been treated before. I know I can get you to have the longest and most intense orgasms that you have ever had. I could get you to cum and cum. One multiple orgasm after another. This is one country boy that could really dig you. I could fuck you silly 20 or more times a day. I do want to do house sex with you and have wild passionate sex in every room of the house. Bend you over the back of the couch and drive it into you hard and deep and the kitchen table is just the right height to set you on the corner and we could just go to town. I would love to eat and suck your wet pussy and then kiss so you could taste your own juices. I’d love for you to jack my cock. squeeze tight and squeeze soft, and then put your lips down around the head and use your tongue and run it around the head and then flick your tongue underneath near the top where it is very sensitive. Then I could put my cock between your boobs and while you squeezed your tits together as I slide my dick up and down between them. It would make my cock so hard to watch you squeeze and pinch your nipples and you lowered your head and let me slip the head of my cock into your mouth each time I thrust upward. God! I could and want to fuck you so hard in every kinky way that you want. I do have a very talented tongue and you would love the way I could fuck your pussy with my tongue and be able to tickle your G-spot when I have it buried deep in your pussy. I want to taste your sweet pussy juices. I want to run my tongue all around your pussy and lap up and suck up all your love nectar. I want to press my tongue against your clit and feel how hard it is and run my tongue around it and tickle your clit and kiss and suck on it and make it harder and harder and make you beg for more more more. I’d love for you to straddle me in the cowgirl position. Ease your pussy onto my hard cock and ride it rocking your hips back and forth. And lean forward and let me suck, kiss and nibble on your nipples and make them hard. You don’t know what the hell you’re missing. I know I can get you to have the most intense orgasms that you have ever had. One multiple orgasm after another. What types of fruits do you consider erotic? Has anyone ever used ice cubes on you? There is hundreds of things going through my head. I wish it were warm weather already and I had my pool filled up and ready to go. That would open up the possibility of all kinds of different things, ways and positions. Sometime in the future too I plan on getting a hot tub too. Thinking of the things we could do in it is such a turn on. I guess I’m pretty kinky and have sex on my brain all the time. But, can you blame me? I would love to share with you the dreams and fantasizes that I have about you. Oh, by the way. My name is Don. What’s yours? 

I THINK YOU’RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS 

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. 

She says hello. 

He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. 

So he says, “Do you know me?” 

To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.” 

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful 
to his wife and says, “Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that 
I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your 
partner whipped my butt with wet celery?” 

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 

"NO, I’m your son’s teacher."

MAY 22:

  • Hi! I see that you took the casual sex off as one of the things that you’re looking for. I have seen where you’ve looked at my profile a few times. Your piercings are still very much alluring and a turn on.
  • I could teach you many things that would absolutely make you squeal.

This guy is older than my parents, and I’m pretty sure he’s been featured on here at least once.

She didn’t write back. I think she was a Pippi Longstocking fan…

She didn’t write back. I think she was a Pippi Longstocking fan…